


Ink and Tea

by Readerofmuch



Category: Kane and Feels (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Prompt Fic, You can't prove it isn't, as in I was prompted to write, technically, this was not posted at all promptly, unhealthy family dynamics, very mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 08:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerofmuch/pseuds/Readerofmuch
Summary: Lucifer's mother is a very particular type of person: unpleasant.





	Ink and Tea

**Author's Note:**

> 18\. “This is… exactly what it looks like.”  
> 4\. “I really wish you’d told me your mother was in town.”  
> 24\. “Is that a tattoo?”

Brutus Feels paused outside of the flat to juggle the bags of groceries so he could unlock the door. Then, he froze.

**_I was very used to the various states of Lucifer Kane. I’d seen the man with his hair so far out from his forehead it looked like it was about to secede after an incantation had an unexpected result, seen him after nights without sleep, looking like something that would ooze if you poked it. I had even seen Kane wearing skeleton pyjamas, fast asleep on his imposing sulking chair with The Cat draped over him like a hairy, purring blanket. This was entirely new._ **

Lucifer Kane looked up from the table set with a proper tea setting that Brutus hadn’t even realized they owned like a banshee in a flashlight. He was wearing a button up and a bow tie under a nifty vest and a tweed jacket over the top with honest to god elbow patches, with his hair properly slicked back. Beside him, a poised woman wearing an elegantly simple outfit that probably cost more than the rent on the office smiled thinly.

“You must be Brutus! My son has been telling me all about you.”

Brutus blinked. A bag of groceries slumped forward and he only barely stopped it from hitting the floor. He raised an eyebrow at Luce, who winced apologetically,

“This is… exactly what it looks like.”

Brutus carried the groceries into the kitchen and half dropped them onto the counter before turning back to the situation at hand.

“What a pleasure it is to meet you, ma’am.”

“Likewise, I’m sure. Please, you must call me Margaret,” she demurred. “Come here, I simply must meet my son’s business partner. He said you two run some sort of agency together?”

Brutus walked over to the table and stood uncomfortably while the older woman eyed him critically. He realized she was still waiting for a response and he flinched.

“Something like that,” he answered, too late.

_I watched Brutus sympathetically as my mother eyed him like a particularly interesting Sunday roast. She was certainly… something. An absolute menace, maybe._

“Gosh, Luce, I really wish you’d told me your mother was in town,” said Brutus through a strained smile. “I’d have bought the fixings for a proper tea.”

Lucifer smiled and, when his mother wasn’t looking, mouthed _I’m sorry_ at his long-suffering partner. Margaret was almost done, he could tell.

“Is that a tattoo?”

_Ice water flooded my veins as Margaret spoke. Brutus and I had matching protective tattoos on our right shoulders- it was a half sleeve we’d designed together, a compromise between aesthetics and safety. It was disguised with a quote- “To you, I shall be unique in all the world”. Margaret was not looking at his right arm. Feels had his sleeves rolled to his elbows, showing off his truly excellent forearms and, at the bottom, just the faintest hint of green._

“Honestly, a nice young man like you with something so utterly vile.”

**_Lucifer adjusted his sleeves very unsubtly. If I had been less distracted, I would have raised an eyebrow at him, but for now it was all I could do to keep from fidgeting under Margaret’s unrepentant, unrelenting stare._ **

“Go on then, let’s have a look. What on earth is

_I had seen the tattoo on Brutus’s left arm only once, after an exceptionally ill-advised run in with a poltergeist. It was a little boy- or rather, a little prince, holding tight to a string and trailing behind a dozen birds. The tattoo covered old scars and older wounds- it was not something my mother would be allowed to ruin with her judgement._

“I think he’s an adult who can make his own choices, mother, and it’s none of your concern.”

Margaret opened her mouth as if to speak but before she could, Lucifer Kane barrelled right on past her.

              “Furthermore, I am quite found of his tattoos.”

              Lucifer paused and took a deep breath.

              “I think it would be best if you left.”

              **_Margaret’s mouth flapped a few times like an especially unfortunate codfish before she turned, picked up her purse and left the flat in a method that would be considered storming out in someone less graceful._**

              “Just see if I come visit you again!”

              _The door was deliberatey not slammed (beaneath her dignity) but it was closed firmly and she was gone completely._

The awkward silence hung in the air for a moment before Kane and Feels burst out into ridiculous, helpless laughter.

              “God, I do not like her,” said Brutus.

              “Feels! I cannot believe you! That is my mother,” said Lucifer, sounding affronted.

              “Oh, sorry Luce, I- “

              “No one is allowed to like her less than I do,” finished Luce, grinning.

              “You can say that again.”

              “You know the only reason she came by was to see if I had considered changing my mind and giving her grandkids after all?”

              “Somehow, I feel like you’re still pretty gay.”

              “That’s what I was going to say! God, mothers.”

              “Don’t I know it. I should really put the groceries away, but afterwards, we’re going out. Can’t let one woman ruin our whole day.”

              “I’ll go reset the wards,” said Luce, heading towards the door to his room. He paused in the doorway. “And Brutus?”

              “Hm?”

              “Thank you.”

              And then he ducked into the room, and he was gone completely. All Brutus could do was smile fondly at the retreating form of his partner. Finally, he shifted into movement. There was still plenty to be done. The day wasn’t over yet.


End file.
